i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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