So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
