More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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