I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
