xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
