Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
