Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
