His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
