Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
