Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
