Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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