i would punch a child for taco bell
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Houston, we have a blender
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
