she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
