remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
