Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
