I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
