on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
