I can tuck mytits in my pants
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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