Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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