The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sext me about skeletons
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize