She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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