How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
