i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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