i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
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