Im at strip club and am horny
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She even gives head with a lisp.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
