i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
