yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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