I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
