she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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