Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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