Im at strip club and am horny
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
