OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
