Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
