I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
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When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
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Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
There are leaves in my underwear?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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