the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
