Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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