You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
