I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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