So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
