It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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