He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize