how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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