i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My dick has a subreddit
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
