I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Your penis caused this!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
