Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Sober January is a disaster.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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