hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize