Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You are the jesus of drinking
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize