I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
