I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize