HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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