Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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