Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
