Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
