Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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