i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
