I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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