The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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