He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He felt like a one man threesome
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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