Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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